J:So me and Sas are going to collaborate a 50s film noir style mystery story that will revolve around vampires. So far we decided to each create a character to contribute. I had a few ideas for my character, so far the best one I could think of was a human detective, Bogart style, obviously investigating a murder, possibly one caused by vampires.
Sas, I also wanted to know if Los Angeles would be a good setting, it kinda goes together with the film noir 50s aspect. Let me know what you think!
SAS:Awesome! Okay i think my character should be a vampire girl who asks you to investigate the murders without tellling you the whole story, someone's framing her, supposedly. Maybe she's the real killer and manipulating everything. Hmm, hard to plot being devious, and cunning and smart. Maybe I should work up to that-- or jump right in as usual. Love L.A.
J:That sounds great, is she going to be like a femme fatale vampirist? Also have you given any thought to the who, what, when, where, why and how of the murders? If so, we can start by making the crime, then building the mystery around it. Maybe it could've been a massacre of humans and a vampire your character knew, at some dinner or something; though thats kinda too similar to L.A. Confidential. We'll have to work on the where.
SAS:Hmm, I need to have a movie night and watch nothing but old dark films! WHo- aLWAYS, the cheating man, heehee. WhAT- He kills off the mistress and frames his wife to get rid of both of them in one swoop. wHEN--- The day after the wife's birthday party where he was outed by the mistress and the wife and mistress publicly get into a fight and she threatens to kill them both. Maybe the husband can fake his own death to help frame her? wHERE-He killed them both in ? I don't know? wHY- not sure yet. But maybe all three are vampires ad there is some vamire law against killing each other that causes swift and horrible retribution? Oh I don't know what do you think?And oh yeah the wife should be total Kim Bassinger femme fatale hot! WHich would also lead to the mistress being smoking too, right?
J:Yes, the mistress should also be smoking. I like the set up! Maybe we could throw in a red haring, like the mistress was royalty in the vampire society, leading the detective, upon discovery of OMG VAMPIRES, to think it was political rather then personal. I'm also wondering if he should get bit at any point? The husband should fake his own death, but at first should be missing. I also like the idea of the hOW being by sunlight, but then their would be no evidence. We gotta figure that out. Maybe she left an ash mark on the floor, or a burned out husk of a body? Probably the latter.
SAS:Yes vampires can smoke with no ill health effects, dang it! Love the royalty angle. He should totally get bit but accidentally. Maybe he gets held prisoner by the royal gaurd and in the resue attempt he is somehow bitten and turned. Ash print/ burn mark-- great! Sunlight how apt. We need to set the rules of the world: Does getting bitten by a vampire automatically turn you? If so the vamps always have to kill their prey or it leaves the possibility of each snack turning into a vampire army. Or do vamps have to drain you then do a blood exchange to turn humans? This is more traditional but makes it harder to get turned by accident like I want for the detective. My sister said police and P.I.'s would have carried something called a 'chief's special', gun-wise. I wrote a page about the opening I'll post later. I named my wifey character Sybil. What's the PI's name? Mistress?
J:I got some time at work tomorrow, I'll brain storm and come up with an idea for the PI's name. I like Sybil, for the mistress I was thinking Anette or Marion, or maybe even some old world sounding name.
We definitely need to work on the rules, I like the idea of people turning when drinking vampire blood, as apposed to just being bitten. I also like the concept of a vampire bite and drinking causes euphoria in the victim, making them not remember what happened. What concepts for the rules do you like?
Yea, the chief's special was that stubby revolver that you see PIs with in most mysteries like this. That will work well!
J:I'm still working on the detective's name, I might go with Matthews for his last name. I'm trying to find a first name that rolls well with the last.
SAS:Something brooding. Oh and I like Marion for the mistress.Okay, probably going to be busy for the next few weeks, but this is what I wrote so far. I always like to start with some action then work backwards to the context? Hmm, not sure how to say it, but everything starts with a bang.
Also should we start a seperate thread for writing of story and leave this one as spoliers and plotlines, character development? Just a thought.
Page 1)
Her heels were holding her back from running pell mell down the rainslicked alleyway. All the supernatural reflexes in the world weren't going to save Sybil from her persuers, because they were vampires too. If only_____ hadn't gotten himself killed! Ducking behind a dumpster she listened for footsteps. The pounding thunder of six heavy soles resounded off the brick buidings, ringing down the alley as the royal guard raced closer. They would be upon her in seconds. Her life was going to end before it even got started! Only three days past her twenty-third birthday and it had already been the worst year of her life. Her fingers searched the trash for a weapon seizing on a bent piece of metal tubing. Pushing away from the wall she moved to the center of the narrow passage and dropped into fighting stance. Pappa had only shown her the basics and against trained guards she stood little chance of survival.
To think all this could have been avoided if _______ had just listened to her and not thrown that surprise party. She needed more time before she was taken in for questioning, time to find the real killers. Her private invetigator hadn't been on the job for more than 48 hours. These thugs would coerce a confession from her and have her executed before dawn. The king was an old family friend but this was about the murder of his only daughter. As a ruler he was known for an even hand and a fair temper, as a father he was out for blood.
That's as far as I've got but it would be nice if the PI saves her. I think the guard doesn't carry guns, only mortals do. So, there's an in. Also, the language, city layout, and well everything will have to be researched cause I haven't a clue.
J:
I like it, it's certainly well descriptive and keeps the pulse of suspense. The only question I have is about Sybil's age, vampires are usually alot older, because of immortality. Is she from a fairly new generation of vampires, was she turned recently (say within the past decade or so)? That could be an interesting aspect to it, maybe she was turned when she was a teenager or something, but she's still keeping track of her age (not yet used to be immortal yet). Maybe her husband is centuries old. Again, we have to work on the rules of vampires in our world, but otherwise it's great.
I like the concept of vampires with guns, but I think that they would be mostly used by the newer generations (sort of reflects younger generations going against values of older generations). I'm imagining the royal guard being from older generations; not too old, say early to mid 1700s or 1800s. Their for they would either fight unarmed, or with swords, such as sabers or rapiers.
I too am going to be busy the next few weeks with a paper I need to work on for school, so that works out well. I like working backward, thats a good way to get the heart pumping from the beginning. Still working on that first name, I'll post it when I come up with something!
SAS: SO that's everything we were working on before. As soon as I figure out how I will devide the page up into different sections one for plot line posts and spoilers and another for the story itself where people can critique it as we write.
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